Long time no post! For those who are not aware, I’ve been admitted into KIIT University
(this is a famous college, for God’s sakes, I don’t really need to mention the location or describe about it, do I?) So yeah, I was busy with my new college life; adjusting in a new environment takes time after all. Satirically, I was busy with my new Home. Sigh!
I remember the first Orientation Programme post joining the University. A lot of achievements, a lot of facilities, a lot of opportunities, a lot of bragging… But one thing that still reverberates in my heart, yes heart, is they called the Hostel life “A Home Away From Home”. Period.
For people to be able to relate to my deep-rooted thoughts, let’s get into some details. To start with, let’s talk about people. You’re surrounded with intermixed cultures, all having different set of values, separated with the language barrier. The sacred beliefs are different as well. And most commonly as it happens, thoughts and habbits differ. I mean, it would be very ridiculous to say that people think similarly everytime, but for people like me, who get attached to the past, the same old folks who I have grown up with, are always the best. Meeting new people is growth, but finding the ones who share the same qualities like you is luck. Definitely! Plus there comes that trust issue to ruin it all. To be able to trust again to the same extent as you did in the past, the connection you had made with the people close to you, is near to impossible in the beginning. I’m not sure about the future, but the start is always the most difficult step. And quite honestly, an ambivert as I am, I totally suck at it. Not a day goes by when I don’t fantasize about my past…about my people back home. Mom, dad, brother, friends…everyone.
Next comes the food: well mess food is crap. You always miss mumma’s food and the tantrums you used to throw at her regarding the lunch. All seems so long gone. You miss the love, you miss the life. I’m damn sure, there, at least once, comes a time when you sit in solace during the night and think about how much you don’t want the current life you’re living. And you sit there helplessly and aimlessly, staring into the deep dark sky until you realize nothing could be done in the near future (not the distant one). Then it dawns on you: you were the luckiest person to have such amazing people in your life; and now you’re the most unfortunate one to lose all of them in a blink of an eye.
Now, I don’t necessarily know that whether it’s a problem with me and me alone, or it’s something common among the lot, but I speak the truth – I have still not felt this place as a “Home”. It feels like a No-Man’s land, completely deserted, where I lie in my own blood and think: It’s only me who has to survive in this lifeless life, miss home, miss friends and just carry on…
As I sit on my chair with my laptop on the table in the front, I think maybe, a miracle would happen and I’ll start calling this place “A Home”. Just maybe.