Just wanted to check on you if you’re doing good. Oh and I’m sorry I can’t name you, sadly, because people start assuming that we were losers. Not all do this, but I know there are some. I don’t care though, neither would you, but I don’t want to earn us a bad name. You get that, right?
You know, I miss you. I really do, now more than ever. I’m sure you miss me too but just like me, you’re afraid of admitting it personally. Maybe, you write entries in your diary – unlike me who rather prefers typing digitally. What else can we do? We don’t talk heart to heart anymore. In fact, we rarely talk. I was never good at remembering dates, but hasn’t it been long, quite long, since we last talked? And I mean one real, deep, peaceful conversation. Remember the days when we were just a call away? Remember those 2 AM conversations we used to have almost daily and we never ran out of topics? Remember how you used to have anxiety attacks if you didn’t bitch about people you didn’t like? I hated listening to your rants back then, but, ironically, now I can stake my life to listen to those rants again. I wonder how in a blink of an eye, everything got lost somewhere down the line. Now, I pick up the phone to call you but I don’t, because I know you don’t feel the same about us anymore. I hate to do it but I have to. Life’s tricky. When it plays its own ways, we are screwed. Who knew we’d be fighting with our self-respects? When did that creep in between us?
I know it’s hard for everything to be normal again. Maybe, it was all my fault. Maybe it was yours. Let’s not get into that argument again and let us just share the blame. Will that be okay? I guess. But to be honest with you, I wouldn’t blame any of us except Time. We have changed and I don’t really know if our connection has. It’s hard to tell right now. You are someone I’ll forever have a soft corner for. Because admit it, at some point of my life you were the best person for me. ‘Best’ in the real sense of the word. The best friend, the best companion, the best listener, the best advisor and most uniquely, in you I saw the best version of me. Trust me when I say this, nobody mattered to me the way you did. Unfortunately, time didn’t want that.
It scares me to imagine what would it be like when (if) I’ll meet you sometime later. Will we talk formally – like strangers who know everything about each other? Or will we meet like we used to meet until a year ago? I don’t want to think about that. It makes me sad. Anyways, I think I should sign off now. Take care.
Oh and did I tell you that I still look forward to the last promise we made about eating a large Farmhouse pizza together over a movie?